The 9 Dreaded Stages of Last Minute Shopping

The 9 Dreaded Stages of Last Minute Shopping

Trees are up, lights are on, and the chocolates have probably already been opened. And with less than a week to go until Christmas Day many are comfortable and calm in the knowledge that there’s only a bit of wrapping left to do.

But, that’s not the case for all. In fact, hordes of people across the globe are scrambling to purchase last minute gifts. A mistake they are sure to come to regret.

So, whilst we sit from the comfort of our desks, we thought we’d poke a little bit of fun at those who hadn’t planned ahead.


The Cost of Panic Buying

According to research from American Express last minute Christmas purchases cost on average £66.

In fact, the cost of panic buying won’t only affect our purse strings but means that you have to brave busier high streets and supermarkets and face the reality that you may not find what you are looking for. Can you remember the headlines last year when hundreds queued up to six hours just to get out of the Bluewater Shopping Centre car park in Kent?

And on top of that, you’re likely to experience this last minute shopping nightmare:

  1. “Why is there not enough parking? Why aren’t people at home?”

Unfortunately, you’re not the only one with poor planning. And, it’s taken you so long to find a space you’ve already given up on the inside and resolved that your day is going to be the absolute worst.

Merry Christmas!

  1. “Why are there so many people?”

Despite not being able to find a parking spot, you’re surprised and downright irritated at the sheer number of these shopping crowds. Don’t even talk about the dawdlers who stop right in front of your path; clear the way folks.

In fact, until now you didn’t realise how much you disliked other people and will ultimately lose all your faith in humanity.

  1. “Excuse me, how much for a handbag?”

Staring at the price tag you will it to somehow magically reduce. Realising that it won’t you sink in to a deep moment of thought contemplating the commercialisation of Christmas. And questioning how much you really like your family anyway?

  1. “Would it be the worst thing if I didn’t hand out gifts this year?”

In fact, let’s just cancel Christmas. You resolve that you’ll give double next year and for now they can have the gift of you. That’s more than enough.

  1. “Did a tornado rip through this shop?”

Seriously, why are there clothes on the floor and thrown across displays? Who, can be bothered to sort through this mess? Not, you that’s for sure.

  1. “What on earth do I buy for mum and dad? What do they like? Oh my God, I don’t know my parents at all!”

Guilt. Nothing but guilt.

  1. “Can I just get everyone a gift card?”

You know it’s a bit of a cop out and looks like you’ve made no effort whatsoever, so quickly scrap the idea. Back to square one again.

  1. “Seriously, could this line be any longer?”

You’ve finally found something worth purchasing and you can’t even find the end of the queue.

Whilst waiting in line you daydream of a happier world. You realise you should have used Amazon or Ebay weeks ago; sat at home with a cuppa/pint/glass of wine whilst watching the Gavin & Stacey Xmas episode.

  1. “Do I even dare look at my bank statement?”

No, don’t do it to yourself. Unless you want to enter the festive spirit with a broken heart as well as an empty bank account.

Posted by Paul Randall
22nd December 2016